Impatiently, Unwillingly and Hopelessly Falling

January 28, 2009

  

The weird thing about being in loves is sometimes you’re not aware of making no sense at all. Sometimes you just smile that you wouldn’t know why and then laugh at crazy moments that suddenly cross your mind. You become someone you’re not before because you try to impress if not express what you feel for the person. You don’t mind spending a lot on dozens of roses, bars of chocolates and cuddly little bears that you don’t even know if she’ll love it or not. You patiently wait for long queue of ladies in a public CR and even wait at her at school or in the office just to be with her when people would call it a day, though in the first place you hated going home too late and waiting too long isn’t in your vocabulary. You go to places where she hangs out and meet weird and differently mannered friends of her that you seemed not to have. You begin to sing those love songs that immortalize your emotions though you formerly hate songs that brought up sentiments you’re strange at. The moment you fall, you changed and people tend to perceive you’re living your own circle of craziness but it isn’t what they define it to be.  

 

I’ve been on the circles, of this thing called Love but I never had really been in. I was always out before I go further. I say, I stayed short and leave too fast. I’ve been crazy but I ended up putting ends to this craziness too early before I fall too far. I must have been thinking too much that I’ll just be rejected and I’m not the one whom she’ll end up with. I’m just an option not a choice. Maybe it isn’t true love yet, my friend Kat would always say because if you have the will, you don’t lose your ways. You go further because you’re truly fighting for it. I guessed it’s persistence that runs out every time I think I’m falling for someone else. I’m impatiently, unwillingly and hopelessly falling and right now I still haven’t found what I’ve been searching for.

 

There’s someone I’ve started dating lately. I don’t know if she’s the one but for now I’ll just be on the circle and see how long I’ll be in and I hope I won’t leave too soon just like I always do. I remember this poem I’ve written last year. It tells about a girl who greatly appreciated the shades of anything pink. I heard my genius writer friend is dating her recently. I don’t have any news of her today but I wish her well. She’s been one of the nicest girl I’ve meet and I say she’s been also one of the nicest friends I ever had.

 

 

 

PINK

RestyAcostaIbañez

  

She’s wearing pink again

Like she always do

From head to foot

You won’t miss finding a trace

Of her favorite shade

When she comes out

Everybody’s heart beat so loud

And I don’t know why

I get mad with those guys.

 

I know she’s not messing up with them

For she’s not like some

Who fell in love so badly

She’s just nice and friendly

How she humbly doesn’t realize

She’s beautiful inside and out

And everybody sees that

Maybe I’m just jealous

When someone catches her eyes.

 

There were times I stared at her

And wished she was mine

That she’d just been going out with me

Not with someone she meets around

We’ll be talking a lot on things she liked

And patiently she’ll be listening

To stories I’ve got

And to jokes I’ll blow up.

 

I was supposed to love her

More than my friends think I should

Like there won’t be another girl for me

Better than she’ll always be

That I would be the right guy

Giving her pink roses everyday

Laughing with her crazy on a scary movie

My heart wishes those things for real

Yet my mind’s kept saying

That will never be me.

 

I can make her love me if I’d really want to

No doubt I’ll be happier alone with her

Yet somehow this dream love kept me tangled

And I had to wake up before I fall too far

She’ll never love me the way I’d loved her

In the end she’ll meet someone better

Because for real I’m nothing but just me

An ugly plain Romeo

Wishing for a beautiful pink Juliet

Getting crazy, turning blue.

 

She’ll probably be wearing pink tonight

As she laid her head silently on that pink pillow

I hope tomorrow when she wakes up

Getting a soft grip on that pink toothbrush

Wearing those pink sneakers on a light morning jog

It won’t be late for a moment to come

That I’ll be there handing her that pink towel

Wiping her face and we’re staring each other

That I won’t just be me like I’ve always thought

And our story’s beautiful like those ones ever told.